I miss you. So much. I don't know how it gets to be this way. It feels too much sometimes, missing you. Like there's always a hole somewhere, or a space waiting to be filled. And it scares me how much I miss you. You're on my mind, all the freaking time. Not that I don't like that. :)
Believe me when I say I've never felt this with anyone. I'm not expecting you to say the same thing. We've both had other people we cared for and loved. No one ever loves anyone the same way. And this thing is wholly different than every other love I've felt before. There's the thought of hoping this would last, and that it would be the last. That's a scary thought for me. How much I want this to be the last. We're young and we have our whole lives ahead of us, cliche and all. A lot of things are bound to change us, change you, change me. But there's faith telling you not to think too much about that side of things. There's faith telling you that the now part is what you should be paying attention to. Faith in us.
I still feel weird about using the word us for us. Funny. I'll get used to it, though. =))
I wish to know you. Parts of you no one knows about. Parts of you that haven't been discovered by anyone else. There's that craving in me.
Then at the back of my mind, thoughts of losing you creep. Are you even mine? HAHA. Crazy thoughts run through one's mind at five in the morning. Fears come alive, desires awaken. =)) It puzzles me still how much I want to be with you all the time, how days when I don't see you leave me sad and wanting.
Date a girl who writes they say, because a writer sees things, feels things. She'll understand your complexities, your shortcomings. Somehow, I feel inadequate as I call myself a writer. I use words as my medium to say things that should be said out loud. It is my comfort. But right now, I want to venture out of my comfort zone and actually say things that I mean. There's only so much you can say when you write. Sometimes it's not enough.
And I have to allow myself to be patient, to let go a little, to feel, to be happy. Because right now, I really am. :)
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