When I want to write, I look towards us. I try to choose to the right words to fill the the blanks that greet me when I look at us. What could be said of you and me? What could be said of our intertwining lives?
No love is perfect and I'm only starting to accept that. All kinds of love need all kinds of growth. And we have started the journey towards this growth, albeit slowly.
I still get lost in you. So quickly, so evidently. To me, you are the world, the magic. You are magnetic and I can't help how I feel around you, about you. When I begin choosing the words to write down, they slip away. There are no words that can even come close to describing you, us. But I can't help myself, I still try to capture our candor, our frustrations.
It is time-consuming to be in love with somebody. And if it were up to me, I'll spend all my time in the world with you. The bus rides during the rush hour is nothing to me compared to the rush I feel when I get to see you and be in your arms again. I care little for the unfinished deliverables at work when it means I get to hold your hand and spend a few hours with you. I love spending lazy days in bed with you or simply being in the same room as you. You with your games and me with a book. I love how you know my favorite junk food and indulge me when I simply crave.
It is time-consuming to be in love with you. Every minute away from you yields sadness. A crippling sadness that makes it hard to go through the day. And the minutes we spend fighting are agonizingly painful. So painful it makes me want to spend the day in bed and all the comfort I can have in the food at my arm's length.
It is time-consuming to love you, but every minute is worth it.
When the opportunity to see you presents itself, I rush to you, as gracelessly as I can, as if my life depended on it. And every time you might decide that it's over, my heart is wrenched from my chest. And every time you decide to take me back, each crack is filled again.
You see, writing about you makes me want to digress about all the beautiful and grotesque things about us. Only I can't find my way to where I should start telling it. One thing I do know is that my feelings and affection toward you is backed by a cosmic and unfamiliar insanity that I cannot even begin to explain.
So forgive me for my crazy, for it is reserved for you.
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